Chuck Norris Jokes

So, I'm bored and figured that this forum needs some spicing up with the lack of activity and whatnot. xD As you may have heard, Chuck Norris recently turned 70. (Or, as you also may have heard, "Chuck Norris didn't turn 70. 70 turned Chuck Norris.") I hadn't ever really heard a good Chuck Norris joke until I read this article on AOL. I'll post my favorites from that list here. Do you have any too?

2. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
5. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb.
7. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.
8. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
10. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
12. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
13. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
16. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
17. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
18. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
19. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
25. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
26. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
31. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
38. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
39. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
41. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
42. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
45. Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
46. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up -- he's pushing the Earth down.
48. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
51. Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
53. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
54. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
56. There are no such things as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
57. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
58. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
67. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
68. In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
69. The square root of Chuck Norris is pain.
70. Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
If you've read this far, congratulations! (It was a long list)